This post is part of a blog series by my dear friend, Dorina Gilmore. To follow along with us this month, click the link at the bottom of this post.
I remember walking out of the hospital on that sunny day in May, feeling like I had walked into another world, another life. Not mine or the one I knew. It was like we had walked in as a family of two, but I came out as a party of one.
Was this really happening? Do I keep walking? What if I walked back into the hospital? Would it change everything back to the way it was? What am I supposed to do now? How do you live as a brand new widow?
The years leading up to Kenny’s death, we didn’t talk much about the possibility of life without Kenny here. Anyone who knew Kenny knew he was very positive with his diagnosis, and he was determined to beat it. He went beyond every measure to continue his life here on earth with me, his daughter Kenlee, and our dog Tank. He did so with the decision to remove his right leg and hip, as well as part of his lung, to gain more time and the chance of finding a therapy that would work.
However, the last few months of his life weren’t filled with the same positivity. On the surface, we stayed positive and he fought to the very end. Behind the scenes, we had more frequent talks about what I would do if he was gone. He didn’t like talking about this, nor did I, so the conversations never came to any resolutions. They were simply acknowledgments that this could one day be my reality.
(For the rest of this article, click over to my friend’s site – {A blog series} All Things New: Life beyond the hospital doors. As always, it’s an honor to be a featured writer on her site this month.)
3 Comments
Catherine @ Ten Thousand Hour Mama
January 10, 2018 at 1:40 pmWhat a heartbreaking tale. Good for you for sharing it—I know your words will bring comfort to someone suffering something similar.
Breona
January 10, 2018 at 3:42 pmI just finished the story. Thank you for sharing. Such a good reminder of how fleeting life can be and to never take a day for granted. I hope it brings comfort to those who have also lost ones close.
Meg
January 16, 2018 at 11:56 amThanks for sharing your story – everyone’s is unique. I am sorry for your loss but happy for the positives that eventually found their way to you.