A Letter to the Two Men Who Love Me

To my dearest loves,

This letter is for you, the both of you. One love letter I know how to write. I’m lucky enough, and sometimes cursed, to have 2 loves.

I’m learning it’s harder than I ever imagined, but that it’s not impossible either.

 

Your love, our love will never be replaced.

Our new love is not a replacement or plan B. The loves are different.

 

I will always miss you. Always.

You are not #2. You are not the second choice. You’re the first of these next chapters.

 

I will never forget your love you had for me.

I will cherish your love for me just as much, if not more.

 

You weren’t perfect. I wasn’t perfect. Our marriage wasn’t perfect.

You’re not perfect. I’m not perfect. Our relationship won’t be perfect.

But there is love, forgiveness, and grace. Praise God for love, forgiveness, and grace.

 

I’m sorry for all the times I didn’t get it or I was not a good wife.

I’m sorry if I compare our relationship to my past – it’s all I know.

 

The time we shared, the storms we weathered – those make up our own love story.

The life we share, the storms we weather will make up our own love story.

 

Our past is our past and ours alone, and I will honor our story the best way I know how.

Our present is our present. The future is ours as well. I will still and always visit the past, but that’s all it will be – a visit. It’s not where I live, but it is where I learned all I know now about love and life. And I don’t ever want to forget that. Ever.

 

The hardest part is this – I’m still here. I’m the connecting thread from one love story to the next.

You had to let me go. So someone else could have the chance to love me.

You have to accept me for me and all that I am and all that I’ve experienced. All of it. All of me. The past, the baggage, the issues, all of it. All of this beautiful mess.

 

My promise to you is I will always love you and honor you and honor our story.
My promise to you is I will always love you and respect you and show up in the best way I know how and do my best every day with the information at hand.

 

I can’t imagine ever being in either of your shoes so I promise to always offer love, forgiveness, and grace. My only request is for the same in return.

I would never wish this walk in my shoes upon anyone. But I wouldn’t change any part of it. Without it, I wouldn’t know what I know now about love, forgiveness, and grace. I’ll forever be grateful for that invaluable lesson.

 

I love you both. And nothing will ever change that.

 

With all my love,
D